I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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