whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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