You were right. It hurts to walk today.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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