Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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