I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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