Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.