I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
