Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sorry about my life...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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