If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
