He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
