It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
