My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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