sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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