at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
