After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
