What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize