at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize