All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize