I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Randomize
