i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize