what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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