True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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