Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
