just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
