I wish they made helmets for livers.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize