yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
