I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
