just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
