Dual....:-)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
