the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
