Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
