Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
