don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
