I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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