She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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