Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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