I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
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Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize