dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
