I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
