Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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