He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
