lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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