Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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