My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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