I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
