..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
