the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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