He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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