my shit smells like andre
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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