Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
