Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it glows. i had to have it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just forgot I was standing up.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
