please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dicks are not precious.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
