It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
