In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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