shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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