I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
