who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
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I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
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