i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
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I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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