he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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