All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
