I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
